Colette Newby, commercial director at Future P.L.C’s The Beauty Show 2024, reflects on her events career, sharing her experiences of neuro-divergence and how it has shaped her positive approach to life

Disclaimer: While this and any other ongoing articles may reference my current and previous employers and brands, my references to them are for context alone. They are not the official thoughts, company policies, or opinions of my current or previous employers. They are my own and in my own words.

Looking at me on paper, some colleagues and friends say I am a very successful career woman. Self-driven, motivated, tenacious, ambitious, and hungry to climb the career ladder. This is largely true, yet there is an empty hole and feeling inside me that weighs me down, makes me feel ‘incomplete,’ a secret I carry around, which I have felt ashamed to ever speak about—I am Neurodiverse!

With 20 years of working in media and events, I started off as a classified sales executive working for Tim Else at Western Business Publishing. (Now MD of WHAT ELSE Events—shortlisted for AEO Awards and backed by Ralph Collett—chairman and investor).

Back then, I wanted to be just like my CEO father, who made it big in the finance industry (previously an adviser on Downing Street on sub-prime finance). He worked from the age of 16 in the Liver Birds building for an insurance firm, rising from the bottom up.

How did I know I was Neurodiverse?

I have always known I was ‘different,’ because I found making friends at school hard and relationships a challenge. Being bullied was normal; I was the kid with acne, half Dutch, from a culturally different background. I just came to expect being singled out. While it always hurt and made me emotional, I sadly came to normalise it in my life and still do.

The unkindness of people led me to become kinder to those who hurt me, in an effort to be accepted for who I am. As a child, I became a ‘people pleaser.’ Disparaging and ridiculing comments were laughed off, and I grew tolerant of being treated poorly. I just didn’t know back then why I was different or that I was neurodiverse. However, I achieved excellent grades at school and was always super hyper-focused on my studies as a diligent student.

Neurodiversity diagnosis

In my older working life, I struggled with communications and was not always cognitively self-aware. I am a methodical worker and can take a while for things to ‘sink in.’ However, as a hardworking consummate professional, my revenues were always impressive, my event planning ideas were successful, and my clients and show partners loved working with me. Throughout my career, my customer service and professional conduct have always been exemplary.

Lutifye Palu Ibrahim, sales director of Opatra, former colleague of mine at Professional Beauty Group, and now exhibitor at The Beauty Show 2024 (Opatra Beauty), said: “My experience with ADHD and EUPD/Borderline Personality Disorder staff in the workplace is that management has to apply a different approach; one size does not fit all. Acute sensitivity and a need to please are often high priorities for a neurodiverse employee.”

Therefore, any negativity and criticism will cause a bigger ripple effect, triggering a dent in their self-esteem more than in a neurotypical candidate. This often causes them to become distant and despondent, detrimental to their performance and output. If management can find the right approach—firm, fair, and encouraging—they can achieve the best results and impact from a neurodiverse member of staff. At their best, the energy level, problem-solving, diverse thinking, hyper-focus, and evident results are phenomenal for an employer. However, an understanding and the right approach are key. Clear boundaries, training and development opportunities, clear communication, job role empowerment, consistency, and guidance work best.”

In 2018, my sister, a teacher, suggested I see a specialist. The diagnosis of neurodiversity (I am not yet comfortable stating the exact spectrums publicly) late in life was both a shock and a relief for me. Finally, I had a reason for my behaviour. It was not because I was rude or difficult. My Dutch background and direct approach, along with my neurodiverse traits, could often be misunderstood.

It transpires that neurodivergence has proved to be a ‘superpower,’ making me focus on frustrations within my career, always seeking training and support to improve in challenging areas such as spelling and grammar. Along this journey, I learned a lot about myself, knowing, for example, that I thrive with a ‘hands-off’ management style, being empowered to lead, making key business decisions collaboratively. I always seek validation, reassurance, affirmation, job empowerment, and positive reinforcement from managers. This helped me turn negatives into positives and thrive.

Ralph Collett says: “In my experience, having a trusted and patient relationship with someone neurodiverse is crucial for high performance. Working with Colette is no different; when well-supported, she always smashes sales targets. Neurodiverse staff bring a lot of colour to a workplace and a different perspective that makes our events great. I am dyslexic and struggled with written communication but was lucky to have help from my manager early in my career. However, there were always people who did not understand me or my thought processes.”

Newby goes on to say” My direct communication style unintentionally ‘ruffled feathers.’ I wanted to ‘come out’ but feared stigma, discrimination, or job loss.”

For years, I stayed silent and struggled with my mental health until now. I think differently from neurotypical people, and it’s taken me 20 years to accept that’s okay.

Disclosure

After a tough pandemic and losing my event director job offer in Australia due to Covid-19 travel restrictions, I felt low, anxious, and depressed. However, I was blessed being offered a role at Future PLC, to join the launch team of The Beauty Show 2024. That sunny July 2023 day, wearing a bright pink dress and a smile, changed my life for the better.

Jonny is a kind-hearted, calm, supportive, and nurturing manager who empowers me to do the job I know inside out, one I have done for 20 years. He is a great ‘sounding board’ for ideas if I ever feel unsure.

Initially brought on as a temporary project manager to test the event’s viability, I exceeded the target three weeks in, three months early. Jonny offered me a permanent job, a new ‘work family,’ and a ‘work home,’ providing emotional and mental stability.

A beautiful show

The Beauty Show has grown tremendously, and the testimonials have been great to read. Key show partnerships include the British Beauty Council, Ridgeview Wine Estate, Warpaint Magazine, Look Good Feel Better, and an amazing speaker line-up. For more information, visit: The Beauty Show.

I am immensely proud of my neurodiversity and how I have channelled it into a groundbreaking project within the consumer hair and beauty industry and the event space.

Having previously worked with Mark Moloney, MD of Professional Beauty Group, I owe him a huge debt of gratitude for his support, mentorship, and training in the beauty industry and event space. I feel incredibly blessed now to work with a new, amazing, and supportive team in the industries I love—events and beauty.

Recently, I disclosed my neurodiversity to my current employer to gain support and understanding from my managers and team. This disclosure was deeply emotional, recognising how far we have come as a show team. I finally trusted my new ‘work family’ 10 months after joining the business to share something deeply personal and triggering.

I have also come very far since I was an 18-year-old classified sales executive and can hold my head high. Most importantly, I want to share my story with other neurodiverse event professionals to encourage early disclosure and gain the support they need in the workplace, not to suffer in silence.

Moreover, I urge event employers to implement neurodiversity policies in their workplaces, encourage early disclosure, and promote their workplaces as ‘safe spaces’ for disclosure. Introducing neurodiverse staff to an internal support group can provide peer support on a confidential basis. Having a diversity and inclusion policy is not enough; each spectrum has its challenges, and one size does not fit all!

Given there is no legal obligation for employees to disclose neurodiverse traits, ‘masking’ is common because they fear discrimination. Neurotypical managers are often not trained to manage or recognise neurodiverse individuals who ‘mask’ their disabilities and mistakenly view them as difficult to manage or lacking capacity. What they need are workplace adjustments, mentorship, positive reinforcement, time, patience, understanding, training, and job role empowerment.

Neurodiverse staff do not want to be treated less favourably in terms of career progression or promotion opportunities. Therefore, it’s crucial to provide equal opportunities for training and development. Elect the more ‘carrot’ and less ‘stick’ approach with neurodiverse staff. Most importantly, neurodiverse staff should feel they work in a psychologically safe environment where they can be their ‘true selves.’

Parting thoughts

As event professionals, we can be kinder, more understanding, more nurturing, and more compassionate to neurodiverse staff. You never know what silent struggles or challenges a colleague may be facing unless they share. My advice is to listen first and talk second. Try not to judge neurodiverse colleagues; your ‘normal’ is not the same for them.

Finally, employers should look to celebrate neurodiversity within their workforce and promote a workplace culture of inclusion, diversity, and empowerment.

My name is Colette Newby, and this is my personal story of living with neurodiversity in the event industry.